The Empty Deal

In the colourless paths of darkness,
I see your eyes hunting for love.
Ecstasy in loneliness you once sought,
are seeking arms of care now.

The sisters of malice empty their cup,
To pour some of your blood.
You scream that you are left alone,
and your foe seems like your bud.

You hide midst the crowd,
Looking for a safe pair of eyes.
Swords of words they fence with,
fearful are their hoarse cries.

You run from thoughts to thoughts,
Your emotions are indifferent to feel.
You wait for the waves to wash you off,
cause you are just an empty deal.

Sheesha

ग़म की नदियाँ जब सूख जाए
आंसू भी प्यार से डरे
बादलों में छिपी तेरी उस मुस्कुराहट,
ओस की बरसात जैसे बिखरे

स्थिर जल में खुशियों के नाव चलें
मोड़ दे लेहेरों की हर दिशा
आँखों में तेरी मोहब्बत के दीप
अब तो बस होना है नशा

वादियों के ठंडे झोंके
मेरे रूह के प्यास बुझाये
पिघलती बरफ ने तुझे ओझल किया
ये फिर से क्यूँ है ग़म छाए?

मिलन की धूप का उदय होगा
तन्हाई में कभी न कटेंगी ये बरसात
हवाओं में वो भीनी सी महक तेरी
रहेगा हमेशा मेरे ही साथ

The Barber's Mirror

Reflections… Millions of perceptions
Of me
Of my own being, of being myself
The facets of awareness,
And the facades
A journey to put the million pieces together,
A journey that may never complete…
To seek and to be sought after…
The perfurmed environs so sweet,
The endless list of comforts…
It just takes a minute to reflect upon…
To be where I am, to do what I do…
Just relax and sit there,
Look at the reflections,
Of me
And see if it adds up to what I am…

The Infinite Staircase

Had a tough day. Did all that I had to during the day, did my work at office, met some important people, met my mentors and was returning home.. After a couple of calls from home, I decided to speed up a little bit. The thing about riding back home post 11:00 PM is that there is not much of people involvement - be it the traffic, the pedestrians or the most irritating honking of the impatient drivers. You are with yourself, or more importantly I was with myself. Or was I? I enjoy the cool Bangalore breeze riding back with little water droplets pouring from the sky. "I don't want to get wet" I prayed to the rain God. I smelt the remnants of the deep fried gram flour from the half opened tea stall. I felt slightly nervous when I saw a pack of four dogs about to start a "Let's bark at at all two wheelers and scare them to shit" campaign.. I suddenly remembered what I tried couple of days back. I honked at the dogs and to my surprise they actually stepped back. I was relieved. My friend tells me to stop the bike when I encounter a pack of dogs... The tenacious me always does the opposite. I glanced at the fuel tank and just hope that I reach home. My Activa has always been with me through thick and thin and has run on fumes, smokes when it has to run on fuel. I reflect on things that I learnt during the day. Legendary coach John Wooden says "It's what you learn after you know it all that counts", and John Maxwell tells us that to continuously learn and win you need to "Prepare, Reflect and Apply". Call me an egoist, but I like winning. I mean who wants to lose in life? To win, I know it takes some sweat and that's what I do when I'm with someone I love and respect the most - ME. In reflection I realize I should not have done some things, and some things which I could improve upon. "Be impatient with self, but be patient with others" is what I read somewhere. I am 100% in the first half of it, but not even 20% in the second half of it.

I was enjoying the ride and wanted to slow down and not reach home yet, but then I also like my room, where the poster of the Eagle looks at me with anticipation. I am almost there. The dark skies remind me that I need to wait for the sun to show up for a fresh start. I slow down my bike and shut off the engine. My bike hums silently and the brakes are about to squeal. I stop. I get off the bike and my legs hurt. I bend down and massage my calf muscles and relax. I open the gates and suddenly a storm rushes behind me. The power goes off and I am unable to see anything. I try to start my bike for the headlights and it refuses to start. Empty tank! I flip out my cell phone from the pocket and try to find the stairs to go up. No use, the light's not bright at all. The moon sneers at me from behind the clouds and asks me to find my own way. I curse at nature and watch my feet. I still try to use my phone light and I can see the outline of a staircase. I look for the first step and see that it is a staircase made of black marble. It shone even in the dark. "Whose house is this?" I think to myself and hold myself back. "Do I live here?". My house has a staircase made of tiles, this is not my house. I get scared and start running towards the gate. The moon's aura from behind the dark clouds was daunting me. "Get out from there and help me out will you?" I thought with rage in my eyes. The gate seemed to be locked. "Who the hell locked the gates?" I screamed in a hush tone. Mustering some courage I looked back and saw the outline of the staircase again. The staircase at my house has about 20 steps but this one was going straight up into abyss. It must have taken a thousand construction workers to build this one. What was I getting into? Shall I step onto it? I remembered about the movie "Kung Fu Panda" and realized it's about "Belief". What you believe you can achieve. "This is not my house" says my mind, but I believe that it is my house and start to climb the stairs. I see a faint light at the top. That must be the answer to what I seek. The aura of that light was growing. My feet pulled me back. I slipped, my feet couldn't get back together, I was about to fall back. I held onto the railings tightly. "This is an indication buddy. Get out of here" said the big red dog in me. "No. Hold onto the railings and go up" said the meager white dog. Who do I listen to? "This is my house" I shout and start to move up slowly.. It might take me years to go up there, but I will. I will conquer all odds and fulfill what was put inside of me. I will take the infinite staircase and go up. The black marble reflects my image in every step. A faint red light illuminated below my feet. I did not look at it as I felt it was not important. I wanted to be engulfed in the bright aura at the top. "Inch by inch it's a cinch" I think to myself and slowly ascend.

The anonymous feeling

I wake up in the middle of the night bitten badly by a snake. A swift and a dark cobra that is waiting to steal my last breath. Panic struck I sit on my bed, remembering what went wrong in the day, that I need to see myself die in a dream? My blood rising to it's maximum, I silently look at the time on my cell phone. 12:00 A.M it reads. I've been sleeping only for 15 mins, I slept at 11:45. "Sleep Vinod, You're alive" says my mind, my heart still finishing the final 100m of the derby. It seemed like an eternal chase. A chase with my own self. My throat says "I've gone dry, pour in some elixir". I silently spring out of the bed towards the water jug and fill a glass of water and soothe my nerves. I hear soft snores from my parents' room. I smile to myself, maybe it was just a sign. A sign to shut myself from all negative and move on. I love the nights. I felt like sitting up all night and rediscovering myself. I switch on my laptop. I login to "Facebook", the response says "Page cannot be found". "I blocked the website" I think to myself, how dumb of me. I quickly go and unblock it. My mind pats my back saying "You suck at this self control thingy". I look into profiles of people whom I really like. Then I look into profiles of people whom I want to like and know, then I look at some pictures of my loved ones.. Happiness starts to speak to me like a long lost cousin. As a human being I discover my biggest strength and my biggest weakness are people and relationships. I get really attracted to people who have a great smile. I am turned off by people who smile cause it's an obligation. There are some who smile only to cameras. "Why aren't some people with me?". Some of my most dearest people have either moved out of my life, or out of this world. I cry with deepest emotions. The moist eyes blur my vision of the most beautiful smiles who I wish to see in front of me right now. They are not my friends yet, they will be. The dim light of my room makes me feel lonely. What made the snake bite me ? Why did I get this dream? I'm the kind who does not let a dream go waste. My dreams speak to me, my dreams tell me what I should correct. Where I went wrong. I trace back a couple of days and see if something could improve my situation. I lift my head up. I look up at the stack of books on my book shelf, 25 books lined up to be read. I read somewhere. It said "If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can steal it from him". So true. I invest into my head, my future. I am proud of my brain, my thoughts, my abilities. My ability to know people, my ability to get into anyone's life and know more about them. My passion about knowing people, my passion to get an entry into their deepest emotions. I fall in love with emotions of other people. When they speak with passion I have tears in my eyes.. When they speak with agony, I enter into their darkest dungeons. What is making me unhappy now? I definitely know what is adding fuel to the fire, but that's not the main reason. I have a discourse with my hippocampus, still unsatisfied cause it does not solve my purpose. A close friend of mine said "You know your situation, it is easy to solve this". Yes. Perfectly right. I am close to solving it, I usually am, but not near enough yet. Victor Frankl's book on my shelf screams out to me "Man's Search for Meaning". Yes. I guess I haven't figured it out yet. I know I need to take one step at a time. I know if I take care of the present, my future is taken care of. I am about to switch off my laptop, looking at the unknown smiling faces, I still sigh that they are not with me yet, smile to myself and tell my heart that I will set it right. My heart whistles at my mind asking it to switch it back to sleep. I sleep, still thinking about the unknown smiling faces. Inner Peace.

Glad to be alive in the era of amazing cricket. Here are the Top Ten Best Moments/Players for me. I don't want to order this, but just numbering it for convenience. These are the moments which I have witnessed. Not the ones before I was born.

1. India beating Srilanka in the 2011 ICC Cricket World Cup in Wankhede Stadium, Mumbai

It was a battle of the nerves. 98.2 overs played, and ultimately the team that was steady, composed, calm and waiting to do it for the little master won it. We had tears, shouted with joy and were relieved from the wait for 28 years

Some of the winning moments: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwXg-urAzME



2. The Little Master's 200 in an ODI against South Africa.
This was a long wait again for everyone. It took him 442 innings to reach this milestone. "I don't think anyone can beat Saeed Anwar's 194" was the doubt in our minds. There were 2 players to do it, but only one to reach the magical 200*. Our hearts were beating when Dhoni was slaughtering the SA's from the other side. We were worried whether Sachin would get his strike and score that one run. He had to wait for more than an over to come on strike. He looked up into the skies thanking God and remembering his dad. His brother Ajit Tendulkar would be so proud that he gave India such a gem. I'm glad I'm alive to see him play.



Relive the moments here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7xpR6gNKRU&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpA2yyzPcOI


3. T20 World Cup 2007 - India Vs Pakistan
Couldn't have asked for anything better. India and Pakistan in a World Cup Final. Dhoni's boys were waiting to lift the cup in the first ever T20 World Cup. Joginder Sharma would have had his heart in his mouth when Misbah smashed him for a six. Sreesanth would have had his heart in his mouth when he almost fumbled with the catch of Misbah which won us the world cup. It was a commotion. India were waiting for Dhoni to do it again in the ICC World Cup 2011 and he did it. This was a proud moment nonetheless for Indian Cricket.



The winning moments: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4HmAw3-kkM



4. Virendar Sehwag:

One of the best openers in the history of the game. A man who has the guts to smash any opening bowler for a six in the first ball of the first over. The only guy to have scored a 300 in Test cricket for India. Viru ki jai ho! He most definitely is one of my favourite cricketers of all times. I was very fortunate to have witnessed a match winning performance by Sehwag when I saw my first ever ODI at Chinnaswamy Stadium on March 25th, 2001, just a day before my 10th Std Mathematics Board Exams. He took 3 wickets and scored 58 of 54 balls coming at number 6.


His 300:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nyhb91gm3MM&feature=related


5. 6 Sixes by Yuvi in the T20 World Cup:

Flintoff ticked Yuvi and would regret for the rest of his life. Clean hitting at its best. I don't think anyone else could do it for India. Stuart Broad would have cried after he went back to the dressing room. Amazing shots. It was really exciting. All of us were at the edge of our seats when it was 6 6 6 6 6. When Yuvi smashed the ball over long on for the last 6, we were jumping with joy, clapping hard, shouting Yuvi's name and enjoying the fireworks in the stadium. The dug out was mind blown when Yuvi went for the Full Monty!



Relive the 6 sixes here and enjoy Shastri's commentary:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CorFRXp6EWs



6. Jonty Rhodes:
The man who changed the face of fielding in cricket. Yes, there's Yuvi, Raina, Kohli, Paul Collingwood, Mohd. Kaif etc, but we all know how Rhodes has turned around matches for South Africa. We all know how he has shown cricketers agility, flexibility, speed and swiftness on the field. Like Gavaskar says "Catches win Matches", who else could do it better than Jonty Rhodes!


















Superman Jonty in '92 world cup:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMHpZpwvPdM


7. Shane Warne:
The one who 'Warned' the batsmen with his presence. The tongue sticking out when he bowls, the wrist that stunned hundreds of batsmen. I still remember how all leg spinners when I used to play school cricket used to copy his style. Not one, not two, I had seen so many youngsters copy his action. The simplest bowling style, almost walking in his run-up (or should I say walk-up), and those magical deliveries. I have cherished his bowling thoroughly, and would definitely say one of the best bowlers I have seen. Very inspiring. Hats off to you Warne


The top 8 according to Warne himself:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDqn043XhQ8


8. Muthiah Muralitharan:

800 test wickets. The record says it all. The ability to pitch the ball on the edge of the 22 yard and spin it into in the right handed batsmen and uproot the leg stump. Murali the unorthodox bowler, definitely is a terror for all the batsmen in the world. His hawk like eyes that concentrated on where to pitch the ball, magical wrist that turns a long way to bid adieu to the batsman on the crease, the ability to make millions of Srilankans smile. A true champion of the sub continent and a reason for many cricketers to become wrist spinners. Amazing Champion!















Some of his wickets:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0f1gEcZkdAY

800th Wicket:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G83mwesFkj8



9. Anil Kumble:

The target was 420 for Pakistan. They were 101-0. Anyone would have thought, Pakistan would get this one easily with the incredible batting line up they had. Afridi, Anwar, Ijaz Ahmed, Inzamam, Moin Khan, Saleem Malik, Wasim Akram. It had to be an experienced bowler who could do it for India. Pakistan were all out for 207 from 101 for zero. 7 out of 11 batsmen couldn't cross the 2 digit mark. Feroz Shah Kotla experienced the best of the best.
Another match where he gets hit by the ball, comes back onto the field with a bandage wrapped over his head. Tremendously courageous.
6/12 in the Hero Cup Final in 1993 against the mighty West Indies. Hats off to Namma Kannadaga Huduga.



The 10 wicket haul:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jxSK-9HSlk


10. Rahul (THE WALL) Dravid:

I was a little confused. In a dilemma whether to keep Dravid or Lara in the top ten. With a little soft corner for Dravid, I chose him. Sorry Lara. The most stylish player of all times. Incredible cuts, those uber stylish pulls. I used to have goose bumps all the time he played that square cut. The ball spins around from the point area till the third man. The most amazing square cuts were from his bat! Our man - THE WALL. A salute to you Dravid. You have taken all sorts of nonsense in your career and yet haven't reacted a bit. A True Gentleman that the game has seen. Girls go gaga over him and why not, the smart and super cool player. I had the privilege to receive an award from him once, and see him play in the nets. Technique, Style, Composure..



His 270 vs Pakistan.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6en6J2H9Des