It is so easy to get disappointed.. It is so easy to get hurt... Why do we get hurt or disappointed? Is it just because we "expect" people to behave the way we want them to? If we do expect a way in which people must behave why do we say, "There's no one like me"? If someone disappoints us, we immediately think "this person is not worth the time i give.. ","Come on.. I didn't expect you to say that..."... What is this? We do believe no one is like us, but still believe in the fact that people will behave according to our expectations... Fair enough? What do we really want out of ourselves? Why am I so disppointed with life all the time? Keep out the expectations and life always looks good... It's a time consuming process and very difficult to keep up... You would falter, but believe in yourself... Expectations have a lot of tags attached.. Lack of space, Anger, disappointments etc.. We can't see beyond a point... Any negative feeling for that matter helps us in not seeing something concrete... We get hurt and don't let the other person speak at all... Just cause we expect the person to behave according to what we need, not how they actually want to behave... Criticism is always good to your living... People always criticise you... People observe a lot.. People assume a lot.. Only when we give a negative indication to a person will we receive a reaction with assumptions involved or with judgement... We don't realize that, cause we don't want to be proved wrong... EVER!!! We always people to live our way, cause we want to be happy.. Why can't there be a world full of love, caring and sharing and all the empathy that we need...? Why can't we give people what they need and give them our attention and watch what speak and maintain good relations.. ? We say a person is not good, just cause he/she doesn't cater upto our expectations.. :) I do it.. No denial.. but, this is what we're taught since childhood by everyone around us.. We're taught not to go near someone, cause he/she is not good... If we don't like someone, we make it a point to teach others and make them believe that the person is not good.. :) Expectations is one thing we need to get over.. People simply say "I have no regrets", but that's just satisfying yourself, it's just saying I have nothing to do with this... It simply means someone didn't cater upto your expectation, so you just ruin everything setup, and have no regrets... We need to grow, for others to grow... :) 

"Dude, I was hurt today by what you said".... How many times have we said this in our lives or thought about? Countless? Hurt? What was hurt? Do we really sit n think what was really hurt? Or was it how the person expressed his/her feelings?.. What is it ? Do we know it's the simple and plain 3 letter word which was hurt? Our 'ego'? So what does this 'ego' look like ? M. Scott Peck says there are 2 kinds of people, One are the 'Neurotics', these are people who blame themselves so much that they get used to blaming themselves for every problem and lead a horrible life, the other set the 'Character Disordered' people, these people blame only others for their problems and never will accept their mistake in the situation... So what's it like to see these people? How do you ever deal with the latter kind of people? Do you think they would ever sit in one place n think they can solve their issues by looking deeper into why the problem was there in the initial, and would they ever accept their mistakes? 

Why don't these people see beyond a certain point? It's simple again.. It's their 'ego' that stops them... So what is this 'ego' really? Who defines our ego? Other People? May be? Ourselves? Or do we define it under pressure of others? The latter's the problem... We always define ego with respect to others.. So why do we have this problem? Have we ever known that 'fear' could be the reason? Why do we get angry? Cause our ego is hurt, why does our ego get hurt when someone shouts at us? It's simply cause we 'Fear being dominated'.... Human beings easily tend to feel dominated by others and try to escape this problem... Deep down inside we know we would be dominated... When we always think someone would dominate us, we tend to try 'escape routes' or 'retorts'... When this becomes a part of our routine, we don't even realize all this and simply blame others for the misunderstandings... We don't even realize that this is ego... and we never realize that this a deep fear which we have never been able to get over... 

Face the Fear... Our fear defines the person we are... Whether we are neurotics or character disordered let us face the fear... Let us see where the fear emerges from, and once we know where it emerges from don't you think we can easily solve our fear and let go off our ego? 

Let me take the example again.. "I was hurt by what you said"... Why was I hurt? I was hurt cause in the same situation I would never tell such a thing... When I would never tell such a thing, I feel I am right.. When I feel I'm right I can easily see the other person being wrong... When I'm right and you're wrong I don't want you to tell me I'm wrong... :) So this is infact the 'fear of domination'.... We make mistakes... Let us allow people to make mistakes... Keep your ego away for a while... :) Teach that person "this is not how it should be dealt, it should be dealt in this way... " "This is what you could've or should've done.. " "This is wrong.. Let me share a few experiences on what happened when I said the samething to someone else"... These are ways we can calm others down... and calm ourselves down... When doing this you'd find Neurotics who would easily falter off a situation, you would find Character Disordered people who would never let go off their ego and would keep blaming you that it was not their fault... Stop getting afraid... You're 'not' being dominated... Keep assuring yourself that the ego is not hurt and empathize with the other person.. Deep empathy is needed to see why the other person is doing it, and why it should even hurt you or the 'ego' that is being defined at that moment..  The other person is just delaying the problem and blaming you, but when they 'do' realize it, it hits them hard... really hard... 

This is just one of the examples which I have learnt only recently and it works for me.. :) Maybe I'm leading an 'ideal' life, but it's definitely working and my fears are slowly vanishing... For Good, and for My Good.. :) The Neurotic in me doesn't fear the Character Disordered anymore :) 

How do you measure love? How different is love from any other positive feeling, let's say happiness? Is there a difference between love and happiness? What or how do you feel when someone says he/she loves you a lot, be it your mom/dad/friend/girlfriend/boyfriend/a child, what do you really feel? Happy? Then how different is it from happiness? I sat and gave it a thought, as to what could really be the difference, what could it be that when people say how much they love each other? what could it really be? Do they mean they are happy with each other? Satisfied with each other? Does everything have to end up being happiness? No? Let's just assume that you're sad, searching for a reason to smile, when someone who you deeply care for, or let's say you 'love' comes and tells you how much she/he loves you, do you feel like crying or smiling? When we say we have 'tears of Happiness', what does it mean? Why do we have to cry when we're happy? Is it love? Isn't the state of Contentment a deep sense of happiness where you need not smile fully, feel the love and feel good about yourself? If love is a bundle of Happiness(mostly), care, contentment, and other positive feelings, why aren't we taught love in schools, colleges and at homes? Why do we hesitate to express our love to the person of the same sex? Is it a bad omen? Do we have to be emotionally attracted to a person of different sex compulsorily? Why is 'love' the ultimate feeling? Why can't everyone love each other? Is it just our 'ego' stopping us ? Aren't we just being slaves to the society? Ofcourse you need not love everyone, people with various intentions exist, who can eat you up while you're sharing a dinner with them, but once we choose a person to be happy with, why does love become a barrier? Am I going to give anything more when I love someone? Am I going 'out of the way' when I love someone ? Am I going to be associated with negative emotions n feelings when I'm in love with someone? Aren't these emotions n feelings we've seen in people and then followed their trend? What holds us back? Why can't we give our 100% ? Why? The big question mark still remains? How is Love different? Why is it the 'mistaken' feeling?