The quote which is on top of my mind right now "In life, God gives us what we deserve, not what we need". Slap on the face right? At least for me it is. Right now I feel like owning a time machine, and going back in time and creating some of these characters whom I know right now. Wish, they were there some years back, life would have been different, but again, I deserve them now, I didn't deserve them before. Some really really interesting people whom I bumped into recently. Why weren't they in my school, in my tuitions, in my college? But then again, what did I do with the people who were there with me in those days? Do I have them now? Do I love them now? They say, when you meet the right person, the bell will ring. I guess it rang, but wish it rang a few years ago. Why do I say that? It's so freakin uncertain you don't know what to do with the bell. The inner voice pushes you, but the mind says "Hold on mate, do your analysis". Enough of this "Paralysis of Analysis". Wish I could take some people and put them through this crystal ball and see if the bell that rang was right.
The bell will keep ringing, do I really deserve them, or more so, having the self image that I have, Do they deserve me? Someone who is so keen in knowing "The Self" so much that it kills him everyday, will he get someone like him? Will he ever meet someone who is as competent with "The Self"? Will he ever get someone who sees the smile of a person and knows through and through what the other person might be like? Place in the pieces of the jigsaw and finally understand why he did what he did. All you find him doing is asking questions. He's intimidated by competition. He doesn't like it, but it pushes him to explore more. The mirror is his best friend. The smile in the mirror is what he has learnt to perfect. Will he ever find someone like him?
I shook hands with a few people who looked like me. They were deceivingly slow for my pace. So what, you may ask? You speak to me about life, and I'll sound like a 40 year old. I'm already almost half my life ahead in thoughts, so I need someone to run along with me. You might be intimidated by my character. Some might get "impressed". No, I'm not in this world to impress anyone, I don't need to. Beyond all the impression that you have, the expression matters the most to me. Listen to what I'm saying. You put me through a crystal ball and see my past. Growth has been my agenda. Growth has to be a daily thing, like bath, else you stink anyway. You speak to me, and I know what kind of books you read, I know how much you are not influenced by someone like a John Maxwell or a David Schwartz or a Richard Branson. I know that a magic spell from a book for some is more influential than a person who is willing to pour out his or her life into you. Wish I had a time machine, no it's not late, I just wish I had a time machine to see what your life has been like. What were your friends like, what was your environment like, whether your soil has been fertile enough to take in the seeds of love and contentment which you will receive, whether you can respect what I've been through. If you are like me, even what I was like 6 years before today, you will have me. Rest assured.
